Jensen Ackles to be Captain America?

I see from this piece in Total Film that the proposed Captain America film is likely going ahead this summer, but that - contrary to rumours I previously heard - casting is not yet confirmed, though Jensen Ackles is one of the names being bandied about, at least by fans. (Another popular fan choice, Aaron Eckhart, I think is a far better fit, if only because he has the whole square-jawed handsome yet strangely dull and not that attractive thing going on, which pretty much matches my opinion of Captain America. I've already posted my misgivings about the film, and the casting of Ackles in it - which I admit stem from my entirely personal dislike of Captain America as, frankly, one of the dullest superheroes around. Plus I defy anyone - even the smoking hot Mr Ackles - to make that suit work. I've said before that, all crushes aside, I rate Ackles as an actor and would like to see him get a break in the movies, I'm just not sure this is it. And really, if I have to sit through another terrible film just because he's in it, I may cry. Then again, what the hell do I know? Could be the next Iron Man. Though he did have a much cooler outfit…

Quote of the Day

- My hands are dirty.

- My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?

Aw.... Han and Leia get all romantic..., Star Wars

An Elegant Weapon for a more civilised age...

In end of the year review mode*, I am revisiting a lot of my favourite sites - one of which is the magnificent Animals With Lightsabers, a site so simple it borders on genius. And really, with pictures like this, you an see why I love it...

*OK, the real reason is I'm cold, I'm grumpy and all I want to do is go to bed and watch the rest of the Wire from the comfort of my four-duvet loaded bed**, but I figured 'end of the year review' sounded better.

**Look, it's really cold.

Quote of the Day

An elegant weapon for a more civilised age...

I googled this quote to make sure I had it right - it's easy to misquote Star Wars because they are so familiar that, like "Play it again, Sam" - which was never said in the film Casablanca - they are easy to misremember. And in doing so I found this blog, An Elegant Weapon for A More Civilised Age, which is entirely devoted to... lightsabres. Really. Talk about niche interest, but it's very thorough...

The final frontier... of cake

I have mentioned the great site Cake Wrecks before, when they posted about the Doctor Who cakes, so I couldn't resist this 'where scifi worlds collide' number. I'm sure they meant well. I mean, Star Wars, Star Trek, it's all the same, right?

Quote of the Day

All right, that's it! No more Mr. Nice Gaius!

Possibly one of my favourite quotes EVER. Battlestar Galactica

More cool Doctor Who stuff - Tardis USB

We've had Doctor Who wardrobes, wine stoppers and even coffins, and here's another little cutie: a Tardis USB hub.

Now, I must admit I have no idea what a USB hub actually is, but I'm thinking it must be cool, right?

Quote of the Day

Maybe I am getting too young for this sort of thing.

Only the Doctor gets away with saying that, Doctor Who

Star Wars in your sleep

While even the Tauntaun sleeping bag may be a dream for some of us, clearly there are those for whom a little bit of Star Wars isn't enough. You've probably seen this Millennium Falcon bed (courtesy of sci fi wire) but you might also want to check out the totally awesome X Wing bed at http://www.scifisquad.com/...

Quote of the Day

Boy, when you take a souvenir, you don't screw around.

Lee to Kara, Battlestar Galactica

Can't read my Poker Face... because I'm a Jedi

I really need to stop looking at the Think Geek website. But how can I when they keep producing goodies like these Star Wars poker chips? Which not only feature Star Wars characters, they light up when they are in the box, lightsabre style. Shame I can't play poker to save my life...

Quote of the Day

Let the Wookie win...

OK, it wasn't poker, but I can't help thinking it's good advice in any game playing situation.

Star Wars

Is this how David Tennant goes out?

I've mentioned Once Upon a Geek Before - it's a grea site, you should check it out - but I had to flag up this great post on geeky coffins. The Tardis is a particular fave, but there are some impressive Star Trek numbers, and even one for the iPhone lover...

Quote of the Day

- Are you out of your mind?

- Not right now, but in a couple of hours, I'm going to be really drunk.

Gotta love Cal, Lie to Me

See? Twilight really is bad for you...

Another little gem from http://www.fmylife.com/

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

What can I say? Robert Pattinson would scare me out of bed too...


Quote of the Day
That's my Raptor wranglers, always looking for new and interesting ways to get killed.
But that's why Helo loves 'em, Battlestar Galactica

Step away from the Battlestar, Bryan!

I can’t recall if I posted about this a while back or just got into a big Facebook debate about it, but according to this piece on scifiwire.com, Bryan Singer’s Battlestar Galactica project still seems to be on the go. For those of you not in the loop, the director has decided that BSG is so good they should reboot it twice, and is making a movie based on the original 70s show, conveniently deciding to ignore the recent series that has already done this so successfully. This has understandably led to much outcry on the interwebs, a lot of it along the lines of ‘huh?’ Because, really, we need two reboots of the same show within less than two years? Because what with BSG, and Razor, and the Plan, and Caprica, we don’t have enough Cylons in our life already?

Now I like Bryan Singer – I think he’s an interesting, if flawed, director, but this whole project smacks to me of him deciding he wants to do something and just not facing the fact that... um, someone beat him to it. Obviously, I’m biased by the fact that I love the recent BSG reboot, and I simply can’t think of a way it can be bettered, least of all in a two-hour movie, but also looking at the kind of comments a piece like this gets (read the posts on the scifiwire piece – if only because some of them are actually pretty funny) a lot of the pro-Singer posters are slightly worrying. They want the Singer reboot because the Moore version was too dark, too complex, and too female: a lot of the ‘but Starbuck/Boomer/Cain were male! They should stay male!’ comments ignore the fact – or, more worryingly, encourage it – that if the show is given a straight reboot, all the girls get to do is look pretty and work the radio. While there is, of course, a perfectly valid argument that Moore took a fun and innocent show and twisted it to hell and back, I personally don’t think we can put the genie back in the bottle. We don’t live in fun and innocent times, and trying to faithfully recreate shows from when we thought we did doesn’t work: you end up with the played for laughs Starsky and Hutch, or the nipples on the Batsuit hell of Batman and Robin. I can imagine Singer is looking to the success of the recent Star Trek movie as a template, but that was the refreshing of an idea that had got stale, not one that has only recently been reinvigorated to a thrilling degree.

So, Bryan, face facts: you missed your chance. Ron Moore beat you to it. Go wait 10 years and then we might be ready for another look. Now excuse me, I am going to work on my series of books about a boy wizard who goes to magic school. What? I think the world is ready for another one, don't you?

Quote of the day

There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.

Adama gets political, Battlestar Galactica

Wow, they are really strict

I've posted previously about the great site http://www.fmylife.com/ (you think you're having a bad day?) and this movie-related post today made me laugh out loud...

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

Quote of the Day

People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

Erm I guess I shouldn't say...

2010 - sci fi's New Year's Resolutions

As both the year and the decade are ending, I feel like I should be a conscientious blogger and do some sort of review type thing – you know highlights of the year, best sci-fi of the decade, that sort of thing. Only I’m not going to. Partly because many people have done it better than me (I particularly recommend SFX’s Review of the Decade) and partly because I have such a terrible sense of time that even the most cursory attempt found me going ‘really? That was this year? I thought it was last? What, that was 2002? I thought it was before that...’ etc. So, forgive me, no end of year list for me. But I thought, in true looking forward style, I’d give you a list of what I want to see over the next 12 months. (Looking ahead a decade is too much for me. I’d be predicting us all having movies injected direct into our brain. And possibly Living getting round to showing Supernatural S 5.)

A hiatus on new vampire projects – yes, I love True Blood, and I’ll probably see Daybreakers, but I feel like vampires actually have taken over the world now and no one is saying anything original about them. Can we stop now?

UK TV to stop messing shows around: yes, Living, I mean you, but also Hallmark, can we get the rest of Psych now? In fairness most stations are pretty good at this now – special props here to Sky and FX – but in the age of internet spoilers it’s ridiculous to expect people to wait months to see things after they’ve been shown in the States.

And while I’m on the subject: can we have Castle, please? And how about releasing Battlestar Galactica the Plan on Region 2 DVD? Or showing it on Sky? Come on...

The new Doctor to be good: he still freaks me out and in my heart I don’t believe anyone can out-Doctor David Tennant, but I want the franchise to continue to thrive. It’s great to have a TV institution the whole family can love but that has nothing to do with Simon Cowell.

Supernatural to go out on a high note – but to go out. I hear Living are finally showing the series next year and what I have seen so far rocks, but I hope the show goes out with a great ending (and I want both my boys to live, TV gods!) but I also want it to end. Quit while you’re ahead, fellas!

And on a related note: someone, for the love of God, give Jensen Ackles some good movie roles. He’s a decent actor, he’s got great comic timing, and if I have to sit through anything as bad as Devour again just because he’s in it. I may have to kill myself. Also, it’s going to start costing me friendships.

Caprica to be good. There’s a BSG-shaped hole in my life. Can this show fill it?

Joss Whedon to write more X-Men comics. C’mon, Joss, not like TV is going so well for you, is it?

Toy Story 3 to be good. I can’t take another Indiana Jones style disappointment.

Finally, on a more serious note – I’d like Sir Terry Pratchett to continue to enjoy good health and keep writing. Not just because his books have been making me happy for the last two decades and there is simply no one else producing such consistently high quality writing, and because there is a place in my heart that will forever be Discworld, but because he seems like a thoroughly decent man who deserves it.

So here’s to 2010! Please keep reading, please keep commenting, please keep me company...

Quote of the Day

No capes!

Edna has her rules, the Incredibles

A Very Supernatural Christmas Part 2

I blogged yesterday about how my oldest friends are under no illusions as to my geekiness, and it's good to see this being reinforced by the friend I have known longer than any other, the lovely Clare*. Who among the geekfest of Christmas gifts she gave me (the Star Trek and Watchmen DVDs, new Buffy graphic novel, Marvel comics calendar... I'll never have to leave the house again!**) bought me this delight from Cafepress... (and the Supernatural mug from Forbidden Planet too...).

*Who was also responsible for the Santa letter, I suspect.

**Being my oldest friend in the world, she also bought me a dress. So, a dress, a geekfest and some SN goodies - that really is my personality summed up...

Quote of the Day

Business! Mankind was my business!

Marley speaks truth, A Christmas Carol

Good Omens, good times

Good Omens is a book I have been meaning to reread for a while now. Partly because I haven’t read it in years and was curious as to how it would hold up, partly because Supernatural is reminding me how much I enjoy the whole demons and angels thing and partly because he scriptwriters of that show certainly seem to have read it, and I was curious to see just how close their idea of celestial war mirrored that of Gaiman and Pratchett. The good news is, the book holds up fantastically well. The story revolves around the arrival of the Antichrist – even if he does end up in the wrong place – and the angel (“and part-time rare book dealer”) Aziraphale and his hellish counterpart Crowley (“an angel who did not so much Fall as saunter vaguely downwards”) who decide that, actually, they quite like earth and would rather not have it destroyed in Armageddon, thanks very much. I’ve not read much Gaiman so I can’t comment on his input or influence, but the book is very much vintage Pratchett. It’s filled with colourful characters, from Witchfinder Pulsifier and his crazy boss, to professional descendant Anathema Device, and wonderfully sly touches. Crowley doesn’t go in for tempting souls; he prefers spreading low grade evil over a wider range, so he helps create Manchester and the M25. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have been upgraded and ride motorbikes: Famine sells diet meals, War is a foreign correspondent while Pestilence has been upgraded to Pollution (only Death, of course, remains unchanged, and could have stepped straight from the Discworld). It’s also, at its core, like all Pratchett, a strongly humanistic book: while it presents a world where heaven and hell are always present – and more than happy to sacrifice humanity to win their war – it is one where true good and evil are always human; where demons are shocked by the horrors people inflict on one another but where the world can be saved by one small boy caring about his friends more than about power, and doing the very human thing of questioning - and ultimately resisting - his destiny. And it’s really, really funny.

[Some Supernatural S5 spoilers]. It is also, clearly, a book dear to the hearts of the writers of Supernatural, or the world really is full of strange coincidences. While the show might not have a demon as much fun as Crowley, its vision of angels as God’s hammers, not wanting to prevent the Apocalypse but just to win it, certainly rings some bells, as does their Mustang driving version of War, and the Supernatural version of the Antichrist could have been lifted straight from these pages. Still, if you’re telling a story as old as the end of the world, I’m guessing it’s hard to be completely original...

Quote of the Day

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising which might be compared, from the perspective of the other players*, to being involved in an obscure and complex game of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time.

*ie everyone

Good Omens

A Very Supernatural Christmas

Sometimes, the friends who've known you longest know you best. They know that beneath the Chanel Vendetta nails, the swishy Marlene Birger coat, the Dame Viv shoes, the arty nights at the theatre and the addiction to Grazia, there is just one enormous dork whose idea of a good night in is getting trashed while watching Harry Potter and James Bond films*, and whose ideal Christmas presents need not be some designer trinket, they could be... these.

Thank you, Melynda, for being such a friend. Even if it does disturb me that you refer to my beloved Winchester as 'Deano in his cuban heels'.

*Um, come to think of it, a lot of people now know that. It's just that most of them wouldn't buy me gifts that celebrate the fact.

Quote of the Day

- What did Bobby say?

- That we're morons.

Ouch, SamnDean. Maybe you didn't do the hunting evil checklist? Supernatural

The only Dean Winchester I don't want

Now, I love Supernatural. You know that. I love Supernatural to a borderline-worrying, restraining order level. But my God you would have to pay me to have this monstrosity in my house. It is, ahem, a Dean bust. Course it is. Or alternately it is one of the few things I have found that is uglier than the Jack Bauer ornament, which still boggles my mind (who looks at their mantlepiece and goes, mm, I know what that needs, an ornament of Jack Bauer kicking down a door...)

Still, nice to know even I have limits.

Quote of the Day
Dude, you fugly.
Couldn't have put it better, Dean. Supernatural

I don't care what you smell...

I really can't tell you how cool I think these are. They tie in neatly to a) my Star Wars obsession; b) my love of books and c) my new-found love of homewares. Star Wars trash contractor bookends. Dear God, it's genius.

Quote of the Day

Get on top of it!

Ooer, missus....

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...

Oh, well, not sure how much I'll be blogging over the festive season, so for now I shall leave you with this festive picture. It's a Christmas miracle!*

Quote of the day

Merry Christmas everyone!

That one's from me...

*thanks to my handy photoshopper Laura for this, which I do plan to make my Christmas card next year. With the slanket picture on the other side...**

**Look, Jensen, I'm sorry. Honestly I am joking. I'm not that much of a freaky stalker...

Why sci-fi has the hottest dads

I have to thank my chum Linda over at Postcard of a Painting for this tip (check out her blog, which is a hugely entertaining take on all things grammatical, but with a side order of hot guys and spookiness, so far more fun than a blog about the English language would sound…) - Buddy TV's poll of the hottest TV dads. Sci-fi makes an honourable showing: the lovely John Winchester from Supernatural (who of course triggers all of my slightly worrying father issues, so I'm biased and would put him higher) at number 15 - clearly he should be way higher if it is just based on hotness, but he's lucky to scrape in on dadness (Come on! He's lovely but he's not exactly a model parent, though as Buddy points out "Whether he's running off to fight demons and keep his kids safe or giving up everything in order to save their lives, he may not be the most affectionate father, but if you want to hack away demons side-by-side with your pops, John Winchester is the man to beat.") Michael Vaughan from Alias comes in at 14 - a pleasant surprise for me cos I stopped watching the show before he sprogged - and lovely Joe Dubois from Medium (who really is the man I'd want to marry) comes in at a surprisingly lowly 8, beaten by such types as Seeley Booth from Bones at 5 and Jack Bauer from 24 at 2, again presumably because they are rating hotness/ability to shoot threats away from their children over actual being-a-good-dad-and-being-around-to-cook-dinner-ness. Surprise entry at number one though for Helo from Battlestar Galactica, mainly because a) he really is rather hot, despite his worryingly Alan Shearer haircut, and b) he is also willing to commit treason/murder/cause inter-species war to protect his baby. Now that's being a dad…

Still, I can think of plenty of gaps. O'Neill from Stargate - admittedly his son died, but that wasn't his fault and he did 'adopt' another; Adama (What? He's hot! In an older, statesman-like way…); Lovely Dead Jim from Ghost Whisperer - admittedly only parent to a foetus at this stage, but still, smoking; John Schneider as Superman's dad in Smallville (how is he still so good looking?); Ben Browder from Farscape - if I remember correctly, Aeryn gives birth in the Peacekeeper Wars; David Boreanaz again but this time as Angel, even if his kid was massively annoying; and also, if we are going out of sci-fi territory, the also-now-dead Warwick Brown from CSI, still very much alive Patrick Jane from the Mentalist (again, comes with a dead kid, but again not his fault) and Thomas Gibson from Criminal Minds, hottie dads all. Not forgetting my current total favourite, Tim Roth in Lie to Me. Watching him threaten his daughter's boyfriend got me all hot under the collar, so it did, love.

Quote of the Day

I keep my feelings about my father behind a door that's been closed so lon it's wallpapered over and you can't see the cracks.

Ned, Pushing Daisies

Your Battlestar needs YOU!

One thing I love - I mean, really love - about sci fi merchandise is its sheer ingenuity. It doesn't take a whole lot of skill to stick a logo on a mug or a t-shirt, but coming up with the idea of a TaunTaun sleeping bag, or Terminator endo skeleton stickers? That takes imagination and a nice bit of lateral thinking. So I am fairly in awe of the ThinkGeek bods - again, again, I know (boys - a commission? I'd settle for a free Tauntaun?) - who came up with these Battlestar Galactica propoganda posters. Because... why would you think anyone would want them? And yet... and yet... they are so frackin' cool...

Quote of the Day

So say we all!

Indeed we do. Battlestar Galactica

Listen to the Dark Side with Darth Vader headphones

Well, so Rage Against the Machine are number one for Christmas - it might be good news in the battle against 'the man' but it's not going to make your granny happy when Christmas Top of the Pops rolls round and she was expecting that nice wee boy from the X Factor. So why not listen to your anarchist tunes on these Darth Vader headphones? Adding a nice touch of the Dark Side to your music even if you are just listening to Ronan Keating - mind you, talk about going to the dark side...Just remember, he is the master of evil, so F*** you, you better do what he tells you...

Quote of the Day

You're not just wrong, you're wrong at the top of your voice.

I have no idea what this means, but it sure sounds cool. Tony, NCIS.

See in the New Year with Supernatural...

OMG, how did I not know about this site? I, ahem, stumbled across it while, ahem, flicking through a Supernatural fanzine, and now I really wish I'd known these Supernatural calendars were on sale earlier. Certainly more fun than my usual Guide Dogs for the Blind number... Damn you, interwebs!

Quote of the Day

Time travel's a bitch...

And Sawyer should know. Lost

Take that, George Lucas!

...For all your retcon tinkering, we know who pulled the trigger first! I love this t-shirt, which is unsurprisingly from the font of all goodness, ThinkGeek. (Though actually my current fave t-shirt is actually from the joyfest that is cafepress, but annoyingly I can't seem to get a picture of it where you can read the slogan: it's a Supernatural tee that says 'My Brother went to hell and all I got was this lousy t-shirt'.

Quote of the Day

You'd think after 10 generations of selective reproduction you wouldn't have such a fat ass.

Well, maybe they were breeding for comfort, Max. Dark Angel

Keep it sharp with a Star Wars dartboard

Despite being so clumsy I am not allowed near sharp objects (I once managed to stab someone who was standing behind me with a dart during a game) I really love this Star Wars dart board. I just can't believe it's not available before Christmas! Still, Play have it on a fairly hefty pre-order discount if you're interested. Just remember, stand well back if you let me play...

Quote of the Day

- You've been following me for 18 years?

- I was kind of hoping it would come over as caring rather than creepy.

Fail! Luke and Galvin, Demons

Another Doctor off the list

Well, my accidental campaign to see stars of sci-fi on stage continues apace. After bagging Darth Vader himself last week, this week I added another Doctor to my tally when I saw Peter Davison in the fantastically entertaining Legally Blonde: the Musical (you can read my full review here). So, that makes it three Doctors (Eccleston, McGann and Davidson), two Masters (Derek Jacobi and John Simm) and one Captain Jack so far. The closest I’ll get to Tennant for a while is probably watching Hamlet on TV this Christmas, but he’s still on the list...

Quote of the Day

When my bike got nicked, do you think that was ET the asbo, flying home?

Clyde, the Sarah Jane Chronicles

Sip the blood of the vine...

I've posted before about Vampire wine - it's very tasty - and so I couldn't resist these other goodies from the folk at Wicked Wines, a corkscrew and glass, the perfect companions...

Quote of the Day

OK, so what do you suggest I do? Spoil the girl? Give into her every whim and desire? After all, that's what every teenage girl wants, isn't it?

Hasn't Bill read Twilight? True Blood

So cool I'm posting it twice - slanket envy

The full story on this picture can be read here, but I love this picture so much I'm posting it in this blog, too. After all it has a light sabre in it, so it counts...

Quote of the Day

Brr! I'm fecking freezing.

Me, today. Too cold to think of a proper quote.

Yoda Santa, he felt your presents...

Mm, apparently I am now discovering yet another subgenre of Star Wars categories: Star Wars characters dressed as Santa. The disturbing thing is this little beauty from Think Geek isn't the only one I found (it's just the cutest) - just try googling Santa + Yoda and you'll be amazed how many images come up. Not that, ahem, that's how I spend my time or anything.

Quote of the day

Do or do not. There is no try.

You know it...

Bring back Brimstone!

Thinking about Constantine the other day made me recall another show that I used to watch, the ill-fated Brimstone. You probably don't remember it - it only lasted 3 episodes, back in 1998, but I was quite sad at it's demise, feeling it was a show that just aired in the wrong time. The story of a cop (played by thirtysomething alumni Peter Horton) who, after killing his wife's rapist and them himself finds himself in hell, only to be released when 113 spirits escape from hell and the devil (best casting ever - John Glover) wants him to recapture him. Clearly built for the long run (he was only catching one spirit a week, so you have to guess the writers were building in longevity with 113) the show took a while to find its feet and never really found its audience, but there was much to like about it. Horton was actually pretty good as the weary cop, each spirit tattooed onto his body until he tracked them down, channelling his anger at all that had gone wrong in the world, and Glover, as you'd imagine, made a superb Satan, while the spirits were suitably nasty. It's not even available on DVD, so I can't recommend you buy it - but I live in hope that, when I get my Sky TV back, it'll turn up on one of the repeat channels. If it does, check it out, it's a short but sweet pleasure.

Quote of the day

Cats are good. They're halfway in and halfway out anyway.

John Constantine, Constantine

Bloody good knife from Think Geek

I must admit that part of the fun of this blog is the response I get to it - whether it's from irate Jensen Ackles fans telling me I know nothing and Devour is actually a great movie, or it's kickstarting a debate on Facebook as to whether Beyonce should actually play Wonder Woman, or it's bankrupting my friends by finding cool things on the interwebs and making them aware f them. So I must admit when I saw this 'bloody evidence' knife from the gods at Think Geek - which comes with fired on bloodstain pattern, but is completely safe to use for food and to freak out your guests - my first thought was, must blog about that, my friend Denise will love it.

So Denise, another one for you.

Quote of the Day

Is this a dagger I see before me?

Thought I'd add some culture to the day... Macbeth

Constantine - not as crap as I remembered

Through a series of circumstances far too tedious to go into, (but which can be summed up as Sky TV = crap customer service) I am currently without Sky TV, so reduced to watching DVDs on my portable player or, gasp, going back to the delights terrestrial TV. It was because of this I found myself watching Constantine the other night. I’d actually seen this film years ago but it clearly made very little impact on me, as the only thing I could remember was Tilda Swinton playing an angel: I had completely forgotten that Rachel Weisz was in it, or that it featured Shia LeBeouf in the days when he was playing plucky sidekicks to leading male stars rather than to Megan Fox’s breasts. It also wasn’t quite as bad as I remembered it. Possibly because I have a soft spot for the whole angels v demons thing (what, you hadn’t noticed?) so I always like these kinds of films – I even liked End of Days, and Stigmata, and not just because of Gabriel Byrne’s presence in both (Ok, mainly because of that, but still...) And Constantine is a fairly solid addition to the canon. Based on the Hellblazer comics (whose central character, John Constantine, was apparently styled after Sting, I recall reading, or possibly making up), it is set in a world where both demons and angels are banned from the earth, with only ‘half breeds’ allowed to influence mortal men. Unsurprisingly, given that if popular fiction has taught us anything it’s that demons can’t be trusted and angels are just as shifty but smug and annoying with it, this detente doesn’t last and Keanu Reeve’s Constantine is caught in the battle. There are some interesting moral issues amongst the special effects: the film takes a very Catholic view of suicides (they go to hell) so ex-suicide attempter Constantine, brought back from death on the doctor’s table, is a man who is trying to buy his way back into heaven by fighting the forces of hell, while Weisz is the sister of a woman driven to take her own life by her ability to see ‘the other side.’ Of course, the fact that it is Keanu playing the role means these heavy moral questions are skated over – because let’s face it, while he looks so pretty that I ended up thinking it would be worth a little demon possession to have him clamber all over me spouting Latin, he’s no great actor on his best day, and this really isn’t his best day. Lines that from a better actor could be played with cocky charm or weary bitterness fall out of Keanu’s mouth like stones: he goes through the whole film like he’s reading a script in a language he doesn’t understand, and the only time he looks even halfway comfortable is in the Matrix-style finale shoot out. I’m convinced the only reason they hired Bush-frontman Gavin Rossdale to play a demon is that, compared to the rock star’s exorable performance, Keanu looks like a proper actor. (The biggest laugh of the film comes from Keanu answering a question with the line, "I’m thinking” – because, honey, we know that ain’t true). But despite Keanu’s striding through the film like a very pretty plank, it still works as solid entertainment. There are some fantastic set pieces and great touches – the alcoholic priest trying to slake his thirst from bottles that never pour is one of my own nightmares writ large, the holy water in the sprinkler system, Tilda Swinton’s descent as Gabriel, Djimon Hounson's club owner Midnite, not to mention Peter Stormare as a laconic Lucifer with family problems. And if it’s a triumph of style over substance – so what? Occasionally that’s all you want from a movie. Like Keanu itself, the film is visually stunning but doesn’t have much to say – but just think, it could have been worse. Imagine if they had cast Sting in the role...

Quote of the Day

Demons stay in hell. Angels stay in heaven. The great detente of the original superpowers.

Midnite, Constantine

Santa - he KNOWS that I've been good!

Well, apparently there is a Santa, and I should know - I just got a letter from him! Received at my place of work, I thought it was some sort of marketing fluff so was just skim reading it and about to consign it to the bin when the following line caught my eye... "Mrs Claus and I have been looking at all of the fantastic presents ready to be wrapped and I think I remember you wishing for Jensen Ackles.* I hope I can make your wish come true."

Ah, Santa. You and me both.

*I have suspicions about who organised this. Thank you, it did make me laugh out loud.

Quote of the Day

The bitch hit me with a toaster!

Frank Cross, Scrooged

Brain Food... with some seasoning

More genius from Think Geek - these made me think of my friend Denise, and I would actually not be surprised to fine she already owns them. Ladies and gentlemen... Brain salt and pepper shakers! Perfect for all those zombie dinners.

Seriously, people at Think Geek - wanna give me a job?

Quote of the Day

That bitch hit me with a toaster!

Frank again, Scrooged. (Look, I just watched it. Leave me alone.)

Testing the limits of friendship...

Mm, possibly I think I am a little too bad at inflicting the Jensen-love on my friends, (even those who are equally committed Dean girls) especially in the form of bad movies. I was Facebooking my friend Linda (who, lets not forget, I made suffer through both Devour and My Bloody Valentine in 3D - including wearing the glasses. In the house. I still cringe slightly from shame at the thought of it) the other day regarding Christmas, when I am going to stay with her, and the following exchange took place:

Me: ...splendid. See you then. Oh, I shall also be bringing some more Deanage.*

Linda: Oh, My god, you're not bringing any more films, are you?

*I was actually talking about Supernatural. So she's safe. Though when I finally get my hands on Ten Inch Hero**, I'm so there.

**I still can't believe this is the name of a film and not, ahem, of quality adult entertainment. I'm convinced this is why it never got a UK release.

Quote of the Day

And now I'm going to have to kill you all.

Frank Cross gets, erm, cross, Scrooged

Wake up to Darth Vader... again!

OK, seriously - now I'm finding subgenres within subgenres for scifi stuff. This is the second Darth Vader clock I've found... and I'm not even looking that hard. Not quite as scary as the last one though...

Quote of the Day

Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited... sometimes I should just not say words.

Aw, poor Xander, Buffy

Waxing lyrical - the curse of the hairless heroes

I have made a dispiriting realisation recently: that of my many, many TV/movie crushes, I prefer most of them to keep their clothes on. Admittedly, this is partly because I’ve been single so long that the sight of a naked man might send me into shock, but it’s also because of the depressing ubiquity of the chest wax. Now, I know this is a personal preference and I’m not saying I always hate these – a six pack is all very nice, and a wax can be preferable to the Robin-Williams-sweater-in-the-bath look, but isn’t it all a bit... pretty? Chest waxes speak to me of models and footballers and Chippendales – of vanity and preening, sunbeds and spray tans. In other words, the things real men should be too busy for. Even my ridiculously excessive crush on Jensen Ackles can’t stop me wincing when I see pictures of him shirtless and shiny: my first reaction isn’t ‘swoon’, it’s ‘my God, put a shirt on!’ (In fairness to lovely Jensen, were he to see pictures of me topless – especially at this time of year, when my body takes on the texture and pallour of slightly turned milk – his reaction would be much the same). (Of the two pictures I've used to illustrate this: one makes me literally, physically swoon, the other makes me mildy queasy). I admit I’m fairly retro in my crushes – I like my fantasy men practical and able to put up shelves/solve crime/save the world/fly a spaceship – so chest waxes just seem so... actorly. I’m all for suspending a certain degree of disbelief – for instance, that demon hunting/vampire slaying/international espionage only ever results in mild flesh wounds and easily healed scratches and not in, for example, lost teeth and limbs or disfiguring scars. But every time one of the brothers in Supernatural – shiny chesters both – takes their tops off, I am instantly thrown out of action of the show and into wondering when they find the time to maintain such hairlessness. “I’ll try to prevent the apocalypse but I just have to stop by my waxer” isn’t something you can ever imagine coming out of Dean’s mouth. One of the many delights of the Wire is that when you see McNulty in his pants (and seeing McNulty in his pants really is one of the joys of the show), he is slightly pale, slightly flabby and naturally hairy – because surely to God, that’s what a Baltimore cop would look like naked? I’m not against men looking buff – a finely toned arm has been known to reduce me to a gibbering wreck (what? I have a thing for nice arms) – but I also don’t want actors look so out of character. I also realise this sounds hypocritical because women are expected to look fabulous – and thin, and body-hairless – all of the time. But it’s actually rarely out of character – I fully believe Lara Croft would manage to trawl the jungles and still shave her legs, because I believe even an adventurous character like her would always pack a razor. But that’s because women have had hundreds of years of conditioning that has, frankly, made us a bit crazy. We want men to go that way too? And it just seems another element of the insidious body fascism that seems determined to make everyone look just one, Hollywood acceptable way rather than recognise that human beings can be wonderful, and attractive, and drop dead sexy, in a million different ways. If we turn all our actors into buff and shiny pretty boys, where does that leave, say, the magnificent heft of James Gandolfini or the wiry charm of Steve Buscemi? If women are turned into pneumatic Barbies, what of the sumptuous curves of Nigella or the athletic angularity of Katharine Hepburn? One of the joys of human sexuality is its complexity (take a bunch of women to see Star Trek: it’s a fair bet one will fancy Spock, and one will fancy Scotty, and you’d be surprised how many don’t fancy Kirk). Can’t we just celebrate that?

Darth Vader live on stage

Well, my accidental campaign to see as many sci-fi stars on stage as possible caught a big fish yesterday - James Earl Jones, aka Darth Vader, in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at the Novello.. You can read my full review here but the short one: fantastic. Of course, I would have died happy there on the spot if he'd managed to get the line "I am your father" into one of the familial rows between Big Daddy and Brick, but I realise that would have been just a smidge unprofessional...

Quote of the Day

Only a master of evil, Darth...

Supernatural surprise: does Amazon know about Wincest?

Because, hell, I'm struggling to understand why they would otherwise send me this made-me-laugh-out-loud email:

As someone who has purchased or rated Supernatural - Fourth Season Part 1 [DVD], you might like to know that Queer As Folk USA - Season 1-5 Complete [DVD] is now available.

(I actually like Queer as Folk US - it was pretty funny and got much better once it stopped mirroring the UK version's storylines, even though it was hard to accept the lead as a sex god when he was called Brian. I also used to subtitle it back when I was at the Beeb, and do recall coming in slightly hungover on an early Sunday shift once and having to work on it and thinking, God, this is just too much arse for this early on a Sunday...)

Quote of the Day

Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that doesn't mean we don't talk from time to time.

I like that man's attitude to religion: Lafayette, True Blood

When I said I wanted a man like Jeffrey Dean Morgan...

Not sure I meant I wanted one who dressed like him in Watchmen. Still, if you want the man in your life to be a little more JDM*, (which can only be a good thing...) you can buy this costume from Forbidden Planet. And it, ahem, comes in extra large...

Quote of the Day

It was the blood. There was something in the blood.

28 Days Later

*I know what I'm asking Santa for. Come on, I've been good all year...

Bear Witch Project

I know I usually save all the bargains for my other blog, but MoreTvicar are offering a free t-shirt worth 20 quid if you spend £50 or more, so I thought I would mention it. They have some fab stuff, including a load of amazing Chunk Star Wars tees. But I couldn't resist this one...ahem, I present... The Bear Witch Project. I know. I'm sorry...

Quote of the Day

You look youthful. Still drinking the blood of young children?

Sam, Burn Notice

R2D2 does Christmas

OK, so you loved Darth Santa - what about R2D2 as Santa's little helper? This R2D2 festive bobblehead. Seriously, I am boggled by the fact that not only is there vast amounts of Star Wars stuff out there, there is even tonnes of Star Wars Christmas stuff. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. But this is cute...

Quote of the Day

Can we just skip all the histrionic action movie cliches?

Michael cuts to the chase, Burn Notice.

Mars Attacks and kills with cuteness

OK, I take it back: I thought the Johnny Depp doll was the cutest thing. But now I have seen this Mars Attacks! Martian ambassdor doll...

Quote of the Day

Ack! Ack!

Putting a cork in it with Doctor Who

As part of my campaign to seek out sci-fi related homewares (what? Everyone has to have a hobby), I have proved that Doctor Who certainly isn't aimed just at the kiddies; why else would they be selling such adult friendly fare as these, Doctor Who Cybermen pewter wine stoppers. Because the Doctor's not just saving the world, he's saving the wine. Sorry. Sorry. I know.

Quote of the Day

Do you think Sam has ever turned into a dog and then had sex with a lady dog?

Trust Jason to ask the question we were all too polite to wonder, True Blood.

Johnny Depp in your pocket

OK, I know, I know I am obsessed with sci-fi, but how funky is this Edward Scissorhands Johnny Depp Cosababy doll? World of cute...

Quote of the Day

...I think I deserved that.

Cap'n Jack Sparrow gets a slapping, Pirates of the Caribbean

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

If I had to choose my all-time favourite TV show, it might be a closely fought contest, but the winner would be the West Wing. I love Supernatural to a degree that is plainly unhealthy, and I think Battlestar Galactica is one of the most innovative and compelling shows ever screened, but the West Wing has an unshakeable place in my heart. A peerless cast of amazing actors bringing to life strong, interesting and realistic characters that you instantly care about, some of the sharpest writing ever seen on TV and a refusal to slow down or dumb down for the audience because, hey, they might not be stupid made the West Wing appointment TV. Like its grittier/edgier and thus often slightly overrated contemporaries, Six Feet Under and the Sopranos, the West Wing changed how we thought about TV and raised the bar for television drama, as well as performing the socially valuable service of allowing us to pretend, at least for an hour a week, that there was a decent, thoughtful and smart man in the White House, instead of the superannuated frat boy who was ruling the US at the time. So, given how much I loved the West Wing, it’s odd – even to me – that it’s taken me so long to get to its ill-fated successor, Aaron Sorkin’s Studio 60 on the Strip. There were a number of reasons for this: Channel Four showed it at an odd time, the critics slated it as pretentious, and it was overshadowed by the similar themed but funnier 30 Rock, which mowed down all before the Fey-Baldwin juggernaut. So it’s taken me till now – and till being actually bought the boxed set – to get round to liking it. And I really need to stop listening to the critics. Because frankly, I bloody loved it.

Of course, it’s not perfect: those criticisms of pretentiousness aren’t that wrong: it’s a bit too in love with its own characters, and while carrying on as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders works when you actually do, it’s less understanding when you are just writing a comedy show. That said, we’re all like that, surely? Which one of us, if we ended up sharing a pint after work with Obama, wouldn’t end up going “You think you’ve had a tough day...”

And these small criticisms aside, there is so much to love. The cast, as you’d expect, is fantastic, with Matthew Perry in particular shining, and finally putting to rest the ghost of Chandler. Bradley Whitford is his perfect foil, while Timothy Busfield, another West Wing alumni, is great as the head of production. The episode where Allison Janney guest stars – as herself and being the great sport you just knew she would be – and we get a CJ/Danny mini-reunion had me grinning at the TV like a loon. And while it certainly isn’t 30 Rock-funny, there are laughs a plenty, while the later episodes, I admit, had me in tears. And while it did get cancelled after just one season, that’s no reason to avoid it – unlike Firefly (another one season joy) it ran a full 22 episodes and all of the loose ends are tied up in the finale, making the DVD boxed set an enjoyable and satisfying whole. So why not give it a try? Go on. You might fall in love a little.

Quote of the Day

Good news is: real estate prices are low.

Lee tries to stay optimistic, Battlestar Galactica

Why the Lost Boys is the ultimate vampire movie

It’s hard to believe in these Twilight/True Blood days, but vampires weren’t always cool. Back in the 80s, before Buffy staked her place in popular culture, the cinematic vamp was a pathetic creature indeed – a moribund cliché tied to history, more often inspiring comedy than fear. Then came the Lost Boys. Smart, sexy and stylish, the Lost Boys made vampires cool again: took them from their Transylvanian castles and their English drawing rooms and dumped them right in the here and now. And, God, did we love them for it.

I actually loved the Lost Boys so much that, when it was on TV again recently, I was slightly scared to watch it in case it became a Streets of Fire memory-wrecking experience (in Streets of Fire’s defence, I have been told by my friend Julie – whose tastes are eerily similar to mine – that I was unduly harsh in my slating of this, so I am now thinking maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood to enjoy it).I needn’t have worried – because, frankly, the Lost Boys is even better now than it was then. And here’s why:

The vampires were cool – led by the ice cool and smokin’ hot Kiefer Sutherland’s David (whose bleached hair, leather wearing style is a clear precursor to Spike), these vamps were the gang you wanted to hang out with. They drove cool bikes, lived in a wrecked hotel, and liked Jim Morrison back when he was cool, before The Doors movie revealed he was a big fat tosser.

The Coreys – I was too old even then to crush on the Coreys (it was Kiefer all the way) but the Coreys Haim and Feldman (I still can’t recall which was which) were adorable and funny, back when they were cute kids rather than the poster boys for the perils of being famous too young.

Dianne Wiest – casting such an accomplished actress gave the film not only gravitas but heart. You totally understand Max’s motivation – who wouldn’t want Dianne Wiest as the head of your family?

The Frog Brothers – utterly useless, utterly hilarious.

Jamie Gertz – so wooden you’re surprised they let her hang around lest she be used as an impromptu stake, but god, didn’t every woman watching want to be her, and waft around in floaty skirts, sit on the back of Kiefer’s bike and then get rescued by the good guy.

The soundtrack – these were the days when it was starting to be as important to have a hit record as a hit movie, and from the creepy choral opening to the shirtless sax guy, the Lost Boys music was great.

Fantastic deaths: 'No two bloodsuckers go the same way...' and they really didn't. The boys dispatching the vampires remains one of the best fight/death scenes in any vamp movie, ever. ‘Death by stereo!’

A witty script – as well as coining a few phrases that are still quotable today, the script was packed with great lines and didn’t pause for breath.

The vampires were, y’know, actual vampires: there was no softening of the monsters here. They slept through the day, they killed during the night, and their killing was gory and brutal. “You’ll never grow old, you’ll never die... but you must feed.” That’s the deal, and the film didn’t gloss over the feeding bit.

And of course...

Nanook: cutest movie dog ever. And I don't even like dogs.

The film has, of course, got critics: condemned even at the time as a vampire film for the MTV generation (it does, of course, reference MTV). But I actually think that’s a strength. Not everything has to look like it was directed by Ozu on valium: there’s nothing wrong with a film being fast paced and slick. Modern classics like The Lord of the Rings, There Will Be Blood or No Country for Old Men have proved that there is still an appetite for epic stories told at their own pace, but not every story needs a week to get through. The Lost Boys whizzes along at its own frantic pace and never outstays its welcome, leaving you giddy from the ride. Without it, modern vampire lore wouldn’t be half as much fun.

*OK, I realise this is where someone tells me about a film that came out before the Lost Boys and did the same. The Hunger doesn’t count, mind – it may have been contemporary, but since only about 10 people saw it, it was hardly mainstream.

- We blew it, man, we lost it!

- Shut up!

- We unravelled in the face of the enemy!

- It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us. They opened their eyes and talked.

The Frog brothers find a flaw in their plan... The Lost Boys

My Name is Bruce and I'm a doll

As you'll know from previous posts, I am a huge Bruce Campbell fan. I love him in Burn Notice, I love his fantastic book, If Chins Could Kill, and though I actually haven't seen the films that made him most famous, I'm prepared to guess that when I do, eventually, get round to them, I'll love him in them too. I do not, however, have any idea why someone thinks a Bruce Campbell doll is a good idea. Especially one that just makes him look like a biffa in a bad shirt...

Quote of the Day

Does the Devil exploit your stupidity and somehow convince you that you're on the side of the angels when, in fact, you're Beelzebub, Allison Dubois?

Woah, Lucas, don't mince your words, say what you think... Medium