Heal your wounds with New Moon

Well, yesterday I posted about the fun, if possibly unwise, retractable Wolvie claws. Though I suppose if you do slice yourself open you could patch yourself up with these: Twilight plasters. Well, New Moon plasters, to be strictly accurate - perhaps there is more bloodshed in the second film? But yes, you read that right.: New Moon adhesive plasters. Possibly to cover your wounds when you stab yourself because the books are just so boring, I don't know... I know I seem to be slightly obsessed with all the merchandise surrounding this film, but that's because... well, I am. It just seems so random: like someone has just gone through yellow pages and picked products and then branded them with Twilight images. I just don't get it. Then again, I am the person who has spent months obsessing over the Dean pants, who am I to talk?

Quote of the Day

I’m older and wiser.

Yeah well, you’re half right.

Earl and Valentine, Tremors

Get your claws out for Wolverine

I can't quite decide if I think this is disturbing or genius, but you can buy Wolverine gloves with retractable claws. Coolest thing ever or way to turn your child into a homicidal maniac - or at least fairly well scratched... still, it does look like fun. Until you get an itchy nose, obviously...

Quote of the day

SNIKT!

Oh come now...

SFX Review of the Decade - Reviewed!

I have just finished reading SFX's Review of the Decade, which I finally got around to buying. I've said before I'm a huge fan of SFX - I like the affectionate irreverance, the way that it's clear the writers love sci-fi but don't feel they have to take it too seriously. It's very Doctor Who heavy - which I suppose reflects the impact the show has had but lost me after a while - but the reviews of the year are funny, and while I don't agree with a lot of their choices (The Dark Knight for film of the decade? Nooooooooooo!) they are all entertainingly justified. Plus they like Supernatural, which pleases me muchly. Also you get a free Star Trek mousemat, which together with my Buffy coasters is really starting to make it hard for me to hide how much of a geek I really am...

Quote of the day

- You're fighting a war you've already lost.

- Yeah, well, I'm known for that.

The Operative and Mal, Serenity

Twilight madness - grounds for divorce?

As you know, I often post clips from overheardinnewyork, but this is my first from my other favourite site, the splendid fmylife. which is full of stories form people having a really bad day. But I couldn't resist this one:

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML.

Oh, dear...

Quote of the Day

- Are you willing to die for that belief?

- I am. Course, that ain't exactly Plan A.

The Operative and Mal, Serenity

Avatar, Holmes and back with my boys

Am I the only person in the world who is completely unexcited about Avatar? Leaving aside the collosal arrogance of James Cameron's mission to save cinema (I think cinema seems to be doing just fine without him, really) doesn't it all just look a bit like a poncey cartoon? I mean, I am willing to be convinced, but this just strikes me as all a bit Polar Express - ie, a 'ground-breaking' technology that, like most cinematic developments, is only as good as the story it is used to tell. Also, knowing Cameron, I bt it's really, really long, and I'm done with films that give me DVT...

The one film I am quite excited about - and I never thought I'd be saying this about a Guy Ritchie film - is Sherlock Holmes. (Is that what it's actually called?) Partly to see the reimagining of Holmes from lanky aesthete to bare-knuckle fighter, but also because, well, there's no other way to put this, but it all looks very gay. I think mainlining all those Wincest videos has left me slightly obsessed with homo-erotic subtext (my current fixation being the completely unsubtle undertones to NCIS: LA, and Chris O'Donnell's flirting with LL Cool J) but my first thought on seeing the trailer (OK, second, after 'Mm, Robert Downey Jr with his shirt off...') was, erm, is it meant to be that gay? Maybe it's a more dramatic reimagining than I thought. Though given that it's a Guy Ritchie film, probably not...

Speaking of Wincest*, I watched the first six eps of Supernatural again yesterday with my chum C (of the Dean pants and the lovely, Supernatural-soundtrack-making husband) and I enjoyed them even more. Seriously, Series 5 is very story arc heavy but there's just so much to love: the script is sharp as ever (Dean gets even snarkier), there are some really spooky moments as well as some laugh out loud ones (including a great Wincest reference that proves they really do get the joke). Admittedly the, ahem, homage to Good Omens becomes even more apparent on rewatching and you do wonder why Jensen Ackles feels the need to speak with Christian Bale levels of gravelliness, but overall it's a total joy. Even the Paris Hilton episode wasn't that bad. Though by then, I admit, I was kinda drunk...

*Chum C doesn't get what I see in Castiel, so was fairly boggled by the revelation that as well as Wincest there is the whole Dean/Castiel thing going on in fanworld, which is often called Dastiel but, far more entertainingly - if inaccurately - Wingcest...

Quote of the Day

Like it or not, kids, it's Apocalypse now...

Zachariah, Supernatural

Cybermen ate my cookies

Continuing my home wares theme from my last post - what about this Cybermen cookie jar? Not that I ever have cookies - or, indeed, pretty much any kind of food - in my house, but I'm still tempted. Bizarrely, though - and what tickles me most about this - is there is obviously such a demand for Cybermen cookie jars that you can buy this, the luxury version (which costs - wait for it - £75!) or there is also a budget version available. Who knew?

Quote of the Day

- You are superior in only one respect.

- What is that?

- You are better at dying.

The Daleks and the Cybermen have a wee disagreement, Doctor Who

May the Toast be with you

Readers of my sister blog will know that I am currently slightly obsessed with home wares, mainly because I don't own any. So imagine my delight to see this - a Darth Vader toaster. I could combine my love of sci fi with, well, my love of toast. It's all good.

Quote of the day

Frakkin' toaster!

Um, pretty much anyone on BSG...

You don't know Jack about ornaments...

My mission to track down totally pointless tat has taken me to some interesting places, and generally I'm either left going 'want!' or 'totally don't see the point.' This falls squarely into the latter category: apparently it is Jack Bauer (it's hard to tell, what with the total lack of resemblance and all), kicking down a door. Because that's exactly what you want on your mantelpiece...

Quote of the Day

We are not gonna die. You know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

Mal hits the nail on the head, Firefly

King of the Castle - is Nathan Fillion finally famous?

There are always certain actors you feel should be more famous than they actually are. Actors who, while successful, seem eternally on the cusp of ‘almost there’ without ever quite making it. Nathan Fillion, it seems to me, is one such man. A fine actor, with clean cut, movie star looks and charisma to spare (plus, if reports are to be believed, a mighty nice guy), Fillion has certainly put together a decent CV over the years, but I always feel he isn’t quite the star he should be. Of course, in certain quarters he will be forever revered as Captain Malcolm Reynolds of Firefly fame, the Han Solo successor we didn’t know we needed till he pitched up on our screens, and it is for his relationship with Firefly creator Whedon that has created his cult status: a stint as a Buffy villain, then the ill-fated Firefly, followed by a turn in Dr Horrible’s Singalong Blog. He has also been in his fair share of sci-fi and fantasy films: entertainingly so in Slither, not so much in White Noise 2: the One Where They Couldn’t Afford Dennis Quaid. (He also, fact fans, does a lot of cartoon voiceovers, including playing Wonder Woman’s main beau, Steve Trevor – another reason for me to want to be Diana Prince). Fillion isn’t limited to one genre though: he was in the well-received indie film Waitress, and has had recurring roles in a number of shows, from the little known Miss Match to the, well, slightly better known Desperate Housewives. So why is he not famous? We should be talking at least Patrick Dempsey levels here, and yet to anyone who doesn’t know the word browncoat, he remains ‘that bloke from thingy.’ And let’s face it, while Desperate Housewives was a good gig, it wasn’t going to change that – no bloke who keeps his shirt on is going to make waves on a show that dominated by the female characters. I’m hoping his new show, Castle, changes that. I haven’t seen it but it sounds fun – a Bones-type sexual chemistry cop show that allows Fillion to give free range to his considerable talents. I’m slightly scared by the time I post this it will have been cancelled or something, but I truly hope this gives Fillion the success he deserves. I want it to be big, I want it over here (c’mon, FX, get your wallet out!) and I want Nathan Fillion to be a star. Because that, my friends, would be shiny.

Quote of the Day

Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realise certain words were exchanged. Also, certain... bullets.

Mal redefines friendly, Firefly

Supernatural songs - get rocking!

How a man responds to his wife's interests speaks volumes about their relationship. So I knew my friends C&L had a marriage to envy when, not only did L buy his wife the now-famous (mainly because I keep talking about them) Dean pants, but he also - and here is true love - made her an iPod Supernatural playlist of songs played in the show. (He also uncomplainingly goes upstairs to play Championship Manager on those occasions I turn up for lengthy and drunken Supernatural marathon boxed set sessions, but that may be less him being nice than him not wanting to listen to me going 'ooooh, isn't Dean lovely?' for 5 hours). So, you might not have a husband as nice as L, but you can have a playlist like C - thanks to this link she found, which is a playlist for the first three seasons of the show. So, now all you need is a classic car and some attitude and you're ready to hit the road...

Quote of the Day

It's the greatest hits of mullet rock!

Sam questions Dean's taste in music - how very dare he! Supernatural

First Jensen, now Jeffrey...

Having posted a few times that I am sure Jensen Ackles is trying to kill me with bad movies, I’m alarmed to see that his Supernatural cast-mate Jeffrey Dean Morgan now seems to be doing the same. Admittedly, despite the fact that I fully intend to marry him (what? It could happen), I haven’t yet developed the kind of obsessive ‘must watch any old sh*te as long as he is in it’ crush that Jensen has inspired: even the Love of Jeffrey isn’t enough to make me sit through PS I Love You. (I just YouTubed ‘Jeffrey Dean Morgan naked’ and I assume that got me the bits I’d be interested in. So to speak.). Hell, I haven’t even managed to see his good films yet – I still haven’t seen Watchmen, mainly because it was too long for me to sit through in the cinema. So, why I am unduly worried to read in this month’s SFX that Mr Morgan is making a ‘Hammer-style thriller’ called The Resident? Well, for a start it has Hilary Swank in it. As she only tends to make films that can be categorised as ‘Oscar winning’ or ‘bloody terrible’, and this really doesn’t sound like one of the former, I don’t suppose this will end well. Plus, with Jensen off the market (I knew I shouldn’t have been as mean about his movies), it’s inevitable that my JDM crush will develop to the stage where I am turning up at people’s* houses and forcing them to watch his films. So please, Jeffrey, for me – choose carefully. And stay away from anything that requires 3D glasses.

*People I know, obviously. Not random people. That would be weird. OK, weirder.

Quote of the Day

You ham-fisted bun vendor.

The Doctor, Doctor Who

Story arc vs standalone

[Contains some very mild spoilers]. I haven’t said much about Supernatural Season 5 so far, mainly because I try not to post about things that haven’t been shown in the UK yet, [insert rant at Living TV here]. But since I am, as you know, obsessed, and I have managed to see the first six episodes, I can no longer help myself. Partly because it brought to mind a larger question about TV shows in general, that or the standalone episode versus the story arc, and which I prefer. I promise I’ll keep spoilers to the very minimum!

Supernatural, like many genre shows, has always been a mix of standalone ‘monster of the week’ episodes and a wider story arc, just like its predecessor shows like the X-Files, though as it has developed, the story arc has become stronger and more dominant. Unsurprisingly, given that Series 4 ended with the angels/SamnDean having ‘kick started the Apocalypse’, Season 5 is pretty arc-heavy. You don’t raise the devil then go check out a haunted house. Mostly, this seems to have been fairly well received, but I do wonder how some fans will take it. Even amongst my friends, there are those known to mutter “bloody angels turning up and ruining a good story” whenever things take a celestial turn. While I’m actually a big fan of the whole Apocalypse thing, (not influenced at all by my burgeoning crush on Castiel, honest) part of me does hanker for the old, light-hearted creepy of the week (though, in fairness, Season 5 so far is really, really freaking funny). But this is a challenge for any long running show: how do you balance these two elements? And of course part of how a viewer reacts depends how they feel about the show itself. I actively avoid arc-heavy shows a lot of the time because I simply don’t feel I can commit to yet another one, preferring genre police procedurals where I can dip in and out without ever having to know, or care, what is going on from one week to the next. But without an over-riding arc – or the ‘keeping it fresh’ cast changes available to hospital or cop shows – how do you stop a show going stale if it’s just doing the same thing every week? Some of my favourite – OK, nearly all of my favourite – X-Files episodes were standalones, yet without the main underlying theme, the show floundered. You just have to watch the latest, bloody awful movie to see how aimless the whole thing seems when it’s just about investigating a scary monster. You also see it in shows that have gone on longer than expected – having defeated its Big Bad, Stargate had to discover a whole new, far less convincing theology, while Angel managed a successful reboot that, ironically, made its final season by far the most entertaining. Buffy, on the other hand, played it fairly smart and had a baddie of the season, but even that started to get a little old by the end of its run. So far Supernatural has done well, I think, with a decent balance of standalone scaries but each season building to a satisfying – and progressive – ending, in keeping with showrunner Kripke’s plan for a five season show. Of course as the stakes get higher, it’s hard to keep that balance: if the world is ending, why bother heading out to check out a haunting in Hicksville (and the current solution, of having Sam go ‘why are we doing this when we have bigger things to be dealing with?’ really isn’t going to work for long). It’s also interesting that, so far this season, the weakest episode has been the only standalone, though that is possibly because it features – and it hurts me just to write this – a cameo by Paris Hilton. It’ll be interesting to see who the season handles this as it develops – I’ve seen enough trailers for it to look like there are a lot more standalones to come, but the question remains: if you’re fighting the Apocalypse, how do you take a day off? Still, I’m keeping the faith and hoping this is one story that lives up to its potential. But I’m also praying that, despite increased ratings, they have the sense to wrap up the show at the end of this season as originally planned. I love you boys, but don’t run out of gas before you run out of road.

Quote of the day

This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Never mind, Spike, you'll join 'em soon enough, Buffy.

Darth Santa

Right, I know this is getting bad. Possibly it's because it's the run up to Christmas and all the toys are in the shops, possibly I am having a sheer streak of geekiness. But following the joy of the Tauntaun sleeping bag and the Chewbacca slippers, I bring you... Darth Vader Santa Claus bobblehead. Yes, the Christmas decoration you know you can't live without. I tell you, if this guy is taking over from Santa, you better hope you've been nice...

Quote of the Day

Tell me, Sam, why are you the boy who hates Christmas?

Dean gets to grips with his brother's festive issues, A Very Supernatural Christmas (sniff!)

Sci-fi's coolest couple - the votes are in!

Well, again, I was a bit surprised by the results – though relieved that you all had the taste not to vote for Edward and Bella (“they’re ghastly – don’t let them win!” was just one comment). So, who are the coolest couple in sci-fi... ladies and gents, the results...

The winners!
Han and Leia, Star Wars – yes, a lot of old school fans out there, tipping this pair into the lead. “I love you.” “I know.” “Too cool for school.” “Romantic, and I don’t believe in romance.” (other Star Wars votes included Anakin and Padme and, um, R2-D2 and C3PO...)

The runners up: two couples came very close, though for very different reasons.

Oz and Willow, Buffy.
“These two were destined (we thought) to last forever, as Oz was so cool, deep and laconic and yet deeply romantic, understanding and old fashioned chivalrous. Willow was just beginning to realise that she was a woman (and a hot one at that)” “Sometimes, when I'm sitting in class...I think about kissing you. And, it's like everything stops. It's like...freeze frame. Willow-kissage." “Oz, don’t you love me?” “My whole life, I never loved anything else.” Sorry, I’m filling up again...

Trinity and Neo, Matrix “emotionally vapid, but they looked cool.” “Mutual long coats, guns and delicate bone structure”” just for the sheer cool of those long coats and shades!” “The music, the PVC, the kung fu.”

The rest...

Bill and Sookie from True Blood got less votes than I expected, though I did get a vote for Sookie and Eric “a hot couple in the books”

Jadzia Dax and Worf, Star Trek – “anyone who can get Worf to not only smile, but laugh, as well as looking totally hot in a bathing suit, is funny, sarcastic, intelligent and can kick some serious ass should always be on the list”

Dayna and Tarrant, Blake’s Seven “the sex was only ever implied - much hotter than all that nonsense nowadays. “ Also Avon and Servalan, and Tarrant and Servalan.

Buffy and Spike, Buffy “because you knew it would never work or last but because they were hot and tragic and angry and funny”

Angel and Cordelia, Angel- “they only ever got that one kiss but I cheered the first time I saw it” “If only for the episode where they go to the ballet and they become possessed. Especially when Angel has to hold his tux jacket over his crotch. But they kick ass together and save the world.”

Angel and Darla for “wreaking havoc across 19th century Europe and looking damn good in the process” (Surprisingly, no votes at all for Buffy and Angel!)

Giles and Jenny, Buffy “because the end was just soooo tragic!”

Captain Jack and Ianto, Torchwood “cos watching them snogging is hot” also Jack and the Doctor, Doctor Who “allowed, if you can have characters that have flirted on-screen. They definitely flirt in Doctor Dances.”

Aragorn and Arwen, LOTR “because romance in LOTR is missing and they are both so perfectly hot their kids must be awesome!” “God, they're so pretty.”

Aeryn and Crichton, Farscape “in there with the coolest”

Adama and Roslin, BSG “who have to be the coolest and sweetest couple ever to share a joint in space”

Commander J. J. Adams and Altaira 'Alta' Morbius, Forbidden Planet

Flash Gordon and Dale Arden

Marty McFly and Jennifer Parker , Back to the Future

Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, Spiderman "Isn't it about time someone saved your life?" Such a payoff after seeing Peter being dumped on for the whole of the second film.”

Clark Kent and Louis Lane, Superman

Joker and Harley Quinn, Batman

Carter and O’Neill, Stargate "I wish they'd had more than that lie-detector test episode and Carter spacing out on a deserted ship to explore that one as it got forgotten for a while afterwards. “

Mulder and Scully, X Files “I remember shrieking "At bloody last!" at the screen.” “for the early days where as fans we prayed for *that* kiss to happen. Even though it felt a bit wrong”

Wolverine and Jean Grey , X-Men “ infinitely cooler than Jean Grey and Cyclops.”

Fry and Leela from Futurama. “The episodes where he moves the stars to tell her he loves her and sells his hands to the devil made me cry like a baby.” Also, Amy and Kif.

And close, but no, I tell you, no:
Sam and Dean, Supernatural “what about Wincest?” – no slash! I did say. The same applies to Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson, despite that voter’s insistence “they’re more sci-fi than you think.” Ditto Cletus Delroy Spuckler and his wife Brandine “Simpsons movie was partly sci-fi and he's been in a Halloween episode”

Quote of the day

I've seen thousands of relationships. First there's the love and the sex. Then there's nothing left but the vengeance. That's how it goes.

Reckon Anya is annoyed no one voted for her and Xander? Buffy

Wookie while you walk

More Star Wars joy from Think Geek - honest, I'll stop soon. But Chewbacca slippers? Genius.

Quote of the Day

Let the Wookie win...

I'm not even gonna label that one...

Sweet and smelly dreams with a Tauntaun sleeping bag

I know I seem like I am on some sort of commission from Think Geek, but I'm not, honest (though, y'know, guys, call me...). I do love their stuff though. And one of the best things I have found so far on their site is this - a Tauntaun sleeping bag! Complete with light sabre zipper, and printed intestines lining, it is sheer, beautiful genius. Want... So want.

Quote of the Day

I thought they smelled bad on the outside...

Han, Star Wars

The coolest couple in sci-fi...

Well, it's time for another poll - I'm collating the results at the moment (though feel free to vote using the comments feature here) but as usual I thought I'd give you my own favourites first. The rules: it can be any couple in sci-fi/fantasy/horror - but even if they never got together, they must at least have some level of flirtation going. And it has to be canon, not slash. So, for instance, Mal and Inara count, Buffy and Willow don't. Fear not though I will be doing a follow up on the best team/duo so save your votes till then. Oh, and if you vote for Edward and Bella and you are over 14 years old, I will slap you.

I still can't believe I created a poll where I can't vote for SamnDean though…

Anyway, here's who gets my vote:

Oz and Willow (Buffy) - yes, I liked the character arc of Willow being gay, but I loved Oz and Willow as a couple, to the point of being seriously overinvested. The combination of his laid back cool and her nervous energy worked for me, and if he were a foot taller Oz would probably be my ideal man. I actually cried when they broke up. Admittedly, partly cos I had just been dumped myself, but still…

Aeryn Sun and John Crichton (Farscape) - she is kick ass, he's funny, and you just know they have really, really great sex. Definitely wins the couple I most want to be part of.

Han and Leia (Star Wars) - the original and possibly the best.

Carter and O'Neill (Stargate) - the fact that they got SO close to getting together and then never did actually is what stopped me watching Stargate. There's only so long you can shout 'for God's sake, just kiss her!' at the screen.

Sam Vimes and Lady Sybill (Discworld) - Sam Vimes is one of my all time favourite characters, and I love the down to earth and above all real relationship they have. I've always been slightly more interested in later love, battered experience and second chances than first love and youthful optimism - more a Before Sunset than a Before Sunrise girl, if you will, which possibly says a lot of things about me - and this is a great example of that.

Joe and Allison Dubois (Medium) - again, a 'regular' couple in an extraordinary situation, I just love this couple and the very real foundation of their relationship. Unlike the ridiculously lovey Mel and Jim in Ghost Whisperer, they argue, they irritate one another, they get snappy - but they adore one another. The Valentine's Day episode where Allison is possessed by a posh, bitchy dead woman and, when she returns to normal and he gets her back, Joe just quietly bursts into tears is one of the most moving pieces of television I have ever seen. (Sniff)

Quote of the Day

- I love you.

- I know.

Oh, come on... call yourself a geek?

Geek casting - how much is too much?

I’m a big fan of geek casting. Nothing pleases me more than a familiar face in a favourite show, whether it’s Nicholas Brendon in Criminal Minds, or the cast of Dawson’s Creek playing serial killers in... just about anything. One of the many pleasures of Burn Notice is that it is working its way through the geekiverse: Lucy Lawless, Tricia Helfer and Michael Shanks are just some of its guest stars. But is it possible to go too far into geek casting? Watching FlashForward, I’m starting to think it might be. Obviously, a good cast will almost by definition have been in other shows, and in a show like FlashForward, which has a lot of characters, that risk is multiplied. But My God, it’s starting to get distracting. I just started accepting Shakespeare, Sulu and Miles from This Life, together with yer blokey from Criminal Intent, Amita from Numbers, and now I’ve got to get used to Charlie the rock star Hobbit, Ruby from Supernatural (who I hated so much in that show that I have to restrain myself from going ‘gank the hellbitch!’ every time she limps on screen). And every week there seems to be another one: it’s hard enough following the story without spending 10 minutes going ‘erm, who is that? It’s thingy! From whatsit!’ Maybe when it comes to geek casting, less really should be more...

Quote of the day

- I've changed. I've seen a darkness inside me. I'm not sure you'd even understand.

- I flayed a guy alive and tried to end the world.

Willow wins, Wes. Angel

Sitting in the Captain's Chair

So, the new Star Trek movie comes out on DVD, and I must admit to being quite tempted to buy it. Ok, I'm not buying anything at the moment, so I am more tempted to put it on my Amazon wishlist and hope someone buys me it. I'm not sure I'm enough of a fan to buy this, though - a lifesize Captain's chair. I mean... imagine having this in your living room. All you need is a six pack, Sky Plus and you'd never have to leave the house... (or, of course, you could spend the grand and a half they are asking for this and go to the Star Trek hotel in Vegas. Or shopping in New York. Or pay off some debts. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. I'm just, y'know, saying...)

Quote of the Day

I think the dentist might have drilled into your brain by accident.

Ariel, Medium

Told you I worked in a law firm...

Not this one, though. But that might be fun...albeit with a slightly shorter, bloodier career path.

(This is from ThinkGeek, btw. How I love them...)

Quote of the day

- How have you been?

- Higher Power. You?

- Ultimate evil. But I got better.

Willow and Cordelia catch up, Angel

Plum Crazy for Stephanie

I’m on a bit of a run about books at the moment, mainly because I had a few days off and the weather was bad, and in those circumstances I tend to binge read (well, it’s better than binge drinking, and I find you can’t do both or you forget the words). One of the books I just read was Plum Lovin’, by Janet Evanovich. Now, those of you who know the name will know that Ms Evanovich is actually a crime writer – no surprise there, given my love of genre fiction. I’d heartily recommend the Stephanie Plum books (One for the Money is the first, and the run in numerical order): Stephanie being a reluctant bounty hunter only ever one step away from disaster. She is funny, sassy and all too human, and the books are a great read. But what brings them under the remit of this blog? Well, it’s the little novellas that Evanovich calls the ‘Between the Numbers’ books. These are only loosely tied into the sequence, although featuring the same cast of characters, but the reason I like them is they are the equivalent of the Christmas/Halloween specials US TV shows are so keen on – and so good at – the ones where the normal rules don’t apply. Because while they are funny, the Plum books are straightforward crime capers – the between the numbers books... less so. Visions of Sugar Plums features a stranger with unusual powers coming to Stephanie for help because, yes, you guessed it, something has happened to Santa*, while Plum Lovin’ sees her having to help a load of strangers on Valentine’s Day. And while you are constantly waiting for the ‘rational explanation’ card to be played, it never quite shows up. I must admit I enjoy them – and the boldness of doing them - but imagine if it became a trend? Rebus fighting zombies in Edinburgh? Spenser battling vamps? Somehow I can’t imagine it taking off. But hell, these are fun. Give ‘em a go.

*I think. I read it a while back, I can’t remember. Do I do thorough research or what?

Quote of the Day

- Anything I can do to help?

- Short of dying, no, I can’t think of a thing.

Morden and Vir, Babylon 5

More on the psychic network...

“Do you believe in ghosts? Do we really live on in some conscious form after we die, capable of communicating with the world of the living? Aye, right. That was Jack Parlabane’s stance on the matter anyway. But this was before he found himself in the more compromising position of being not only dead himself, but dead with an exclusive still to file."

I seem to be having a week of fake psychics. Having posted last week about my Psych mini-marathon, this week I find myself reading Attack of the Unsinkable Rubber Ducks, the latest – and last? – of Christopher Brookmyre’s Jack Parlabane books, which is all about journalist Parlabane’s attempts to debunk a fake psychic. For those not familiar with Brookmyre, he is probably best described as a gloriously Scottish version of Carl Hiaasen: seriously angry, brutally funny, slightly absurd, and ruthless in his skewering of hypocritical and corrupt politicians, businessmen and religious figures – anyone, basically, intent on telling the little people how to live their lives while they feed their own greed. His books can roughly be divided into the Parlabane novels, which tend towards the political satire, and the rest which, while still serving their politics on a plate of ground glass, tend to feature more larger than life characters such as art thieving masterminds (with a heart of gold), evil global terrorists and seemingly invincible mercenaries. True, he’s had the odd misfire – A Snowball in Hell used such broad strokes it could have been a Ben Elton book – but generally you know with a Brookmyre you are in for a good read. He’s also a bit of a geek, so you’re guaranteed at least one character who affectionately reflects this – in this book, it’s a student who wears a long brown coat and uses the alias Malcolm Reynolds...

But what prompted me to post about this is more the content than anything, because as a culture we currently seem slightly obsessed with the debunking of myths and liars. Shows like the Mentalist and Lie to Me are flourishing because, in a post-Bush/Blair/WMD world, we’re drawn to people who see through the lies we fall for, to people who won’t be fooled, perhaps because collectively we’re still living with the cost of buying into bullsh*t on a global scale. What is says about me that two of my favourite shows are about fake psychics, while two are about real ones, I have no idea...

Quote of the Day

Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.

Meow, Miss Buffy

Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Freddy!

Ok, this is just a quickie - and another shout out to Freddy lover Linda. But really - who wants this in their house? Who? It's Freddy Krueger bursting through a tombstone. Where are you going to put it? Still, I suppose you could stick it in the spare room and put the rellies off visiting.
Quote of the Day
Who needs a social life when they've got their very own Hellmouth?
That's what I say all the time, Buffy...

Angels - the new vampires?

News that Anne Rice is writing a book on angels prompted one of the papers (I forget which, sorry) yesterday to announce that vampires were over, it was all about angels now. Which is clearly nonsense – with New Moon dominating the cinemas and True Blood getting record ratings, our love for the bloodsuckers isn’t going anywhere soon. Plus, Anne Rice, while a dominant force in her heyday – and responsible for establishing much of the vampire lore we now treat as unassailable – has been eclipsed both by newer writers and by her own descent into (ahem) erotica. (Like many other writers of vamp fiction, she ended up seduced by her own creations – try reading one of the later Anita Blake novels if you think she’s alone in this). Still, I can get on board with the angel love, not least because here – like with vampires – I’m actually an early adopter. I have long been fascinated both by angels in fiction and by how we portray them. Because whether they are cheery helpers or sinister watchers, there is a unifying theme – and that is, whether they love us or hate us, they are jealous of us. Humans – with their transient existence and their messy, unpredictable emotions – are irresistible to angels for those very reasons. I can’t decide whether it’s arrogance of the highest order to be unable to imagine that angels would actually look at us and think they are well out of it, or it’s magnificent, valuing what makes us unique so highly that we simply cannot envision someone watching us and not wanting some of that. Maybe it’s both. Either way, in case angels are the next big thing, I thought I’d share some of my favourites with you...

It’s a Wonderful Life - As I’ve said, angels in fiction tend to either be good natured comedy helpers or slightly creepy – even if benevolent – watchers. Clarence in It’s A Wonderful Life is the template for the former, helping Jimmy Stewart realise life is worth living after all and getting his angel wings in the process. Some people love this film, some people think it’s unbridled sentimentality. I think it’s both and I still cry every frickin’ time...

Good Omens – this Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett novel combines the strength of both writers to great effect, creating a modern satire where angels and demons battle both against each other and against the traditionalists in their own quarters. Also clearly (cough) an inspiration for Supernatural, in that neither side wants to prevent the Apocalypse, they just want to win it, and humans are just the rather unfortunate bystanders. The writers of Season 5 Supernatural also were paying pretty close attention to Good Omens’ updated version of the Four Horsemen as their own version is (ahem) clearly an homage...

Wings of Desire/City of Angels – I’ve already blogged about these, but their influences are far felt, and they are perhaps the definitive vision of tragic angels doomed forever to watch humans have all the fun.

A Matter of Life and Death/A Life Less Ordinary – the first is a sublime triumph, the second an interesting misfire, united by a vision of heaven that is basically an office in the afterlife, staffed by slightly grumpy but sympathetic angels. If you are not moved by A Matter of Life and Death, go and lie down in your coffin because your heart has stopped beating. See also Heaven Can Wait...

Supernatural – I’ve already mentioned it wears its influences on its sleeve (borrowing not only from Good Omens but also Wings of Desire, It’s a Wonderful Life and A Life Less Ordinary) and its arguable that it’s gone too far down the angel/demon path from its monster of the week origins (or, as my friend Linda would say, ‘Bloody angels, ruining a good story’). Having only seen half a dozen eps of Season 5 so far (come on, Living!) I’m undecided, though I like its version of angels as ruthless bastards, prone to infighting and politics as much as their human counterparts. Plus I’m loving Castiel – not only because Mischa Collins is Dean-challengingly hot, but because he’s transformed Castiel from blank-faced cipher to interesting and increasingly funny character as the show goes on. Sam who?

The Vintner’s Luck – again, a book I have talked about before, but one I’ll mention again simply because I can’t recommend it highly enough. A beautiful, sensual story of an angel’s love affair with a human, this book moved me in ways I still find it hard to define. Elizabeth Knox has written a sequel – the Angel’s Cut – that is currently sitting on my shelf because I am slightly scared to read it in case I am disappointed. Yes, I love it that much.

So, while we might not be trading fangs for wings anytime soon, why not treat yourself to some angel delight? You might just be ahead of the curve...

Quote of the Day

Angel or not, I will stab you in the face.

Ah, that Dean knows how to deal with heavenly visitors, Supernatural

Twilight travesty

C'mon, people. This is who we're supposed to be crushing after now? Really? I give up.

(Incidentally, the Fug Girls have the right idea about this...)

Quote of the Day

You were right. That must be a novel experience for you.

Avon, Blake's Seven

What Buffy did next...

[CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS] Lightweight geek that I am, I stopped watching Buffy a season or so before it ended. I can’t remember exactly why: it wasn’t a deliberate decision. I think it was just shown on a night that wasn’t convenient for me, I missed a few episodes, and those I did see didn’t exactly blow me away: I started to find Buffy a bit of a whiner, and you know how I feel about that. Still, friends tell me it ended on a high (I do intend to go back and watch it one day, honest) and of course I know what happened: it’s impossible to be a geek, have internet access, and not know. So I was interested to see what Joss Whedon would do with the story when he launched Season 8 in graphic novel format. I’ve mentioned before I love Whedon as a comics writer – his stint on the Astonishing X-Men made me love that title more than I had since its Claremont/Byrne heyday – and so far, I must say, the Buffy comics aren’t disappointing. In some ways they are far bleaker than the series, which ended on the optimistic note of Buffy, freed from responsibility of being sole Slayer, finally having the option of some sort of life. But nobody wants to read about a happy ending, right? So the books take off with Buffy the head of a Slayer army – the carefree Buffy last seen in Angel, partying with the Immortal, being merely a decoy – and facing a whole new raft of responsibilities and enemies. But thankfully, not whining quite so much. Whedon cleverly balances the crowd-pleasing reappearance of old favourites with the emergence of a new, shadowy enemy, and the lack of budget restraints gives him a far broader palette to paint with, so the adventures range from Scotland to Japan to the future, the monsters are bigger and scarier and Willow, unlimited by the special effects department, is a far more interesting and powerful witch. There are some character curveballs – Buffy going gay, anyone? Dawn turning into a centaur? – and some misfires. A trip to the future is confusing rather than compelling, and the English-set episode grates, seeing as it makes the mistake of too many US writers in seeming to think that everyone in England is related to the Queen and lives in a castle, and you just know that Xander’s love interest won’t last five panels past their first kiss. But these are small gripes compared to the sheer pleasure of the characters and the dialogue, the areas that Whedon always does best. He may not be the main writer on all of the books but they all have his stamp, and you won’t have read dialogue this sharp since... well, since the last Whedon book you read. My own favourites are Xander - now head of a platoon of Slayers, he finally has something to do other than be funny (though he is still funny, God bless him – “That’s Sergeant Fury to you”) - and Willow, who is, as ever, both sympathetic and charming. So if the cancellation of Dollhouse has left you in Whedon withdrawal, treat yourself and let a little Slayer sunshine back in your life...

Quote of the Day

Long time and absolutely no desire to see you...

Xander, Buffy - Long Way Home.

The voodoo that you do...

As those of you who read my sister blog will know, I am now living alone. This does of course mean I can now watch as many trashy sci-fi shows as I like without having to cope with scathing comments from my flatmate, though it also means I have no one to say to me, 'um, perhaps watching an entire Supernatural boxed set in one day isn't the healthiest of hobbies?' It has also reawakened my love of homewares - mainly because I don't own any, and, having decided to be a grown up and all, I need to buy some. Not sure about how this knife block would go down in my kitchen, though (mind, it might be just the thing after a tough day...) Reckon my friend Denise would love it...

Quote of the Day

This isn't open wand night in Sunnydale, sweetcheeks. You're dealing with the professionals.

Xander talks tough, Buffy, Long Way Home.

Get your vampire skulls here...

More on things I don't understand why people would want. These are, apparently, vampire skulls from the movie 30 Days of Night. First off - vampire skulls! Who wants replicas of vampire skulls in their house? Also, was 30 Days of Night that successful a film that it gets its own memorabilia? Really? Did I miss something?

Quote of the Day

So, the Enterprise has had its maiden voyage, has it? She is one well-endowed lady. I'd like to get my hands on her "ample nacelles," if you pardon the engineering parlance...

Scotty, Star Trek

Away with the Fairies

Eoin Colfer is currently best known as the man responsible for carrying on/desecrating (depending on your point of view) the memory of Douglas Adams by writing a sequel to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But before involving himself in such noble/ignominious pursuits, he was a writer famed most for his hugely entertaining young adult books. Now, I've blogged before about my love of teen fiction (not teens themselves, because that would be wrong). Books written for young adults tend to cut to the chase: strong characters, and storylines with no padding that rattle along at a fair old pace and drag you along with them. The market may currently be awash with tales of teenage vampires struggling with romance (thank you, Stephanie bloody Meyer) but there's a lot of good stuff out there if you look. One such series is Colfer's Artemis Fowl books. The tale of a young criminal mastermind and his run-ins with 'the People' - particularly plucky fairy policewoman Holly Short (who works as a recon officer for the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance - LEPrecon. Geddit?). Of course, being books aimed at young adults, Artemis might be a genius but he's not an evil genius - the books chart his moral development as well as his evolving relationship with Holly and the People. Of course, because it's more fun writing about villains than heroes, this isn't a smooth process, and lots of rules are bent on the way - and then, in a smart move, when Artemis finally has grown up and out of his villainy, he gets transported back in time to face the only foe worthy of his talents - his younger, unreformed self. The books have been phenomenally successful and it's easy to see why: the stories are fun and original and packed full of nice touches (there is particular entertainment to be had from the Fairy technology); the supporting cast of characters - including a techie centaur, an almost invincible bodyguard and a cigar chewing Fairy cop - are loveable, and there is a pleasingly moral core to the books, as Artemis learns that actions have consequences not just for him but for those he cares about. There is also a strong eco-message, especially in the latest book, Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox but it doesn't bash you over the head. Fans of supernatural romance might not love them - though this does briefly rear its head in Time Paradox it's not a theme - but for anyone wanting a fun, easy read, I'd recommend them.

Quote of the Day

- I don't like your tone, mister.

- Really? I've been told it's vey soothing.

Gotta love that Shawn, Psych

Gun crazy

OK, I know I have developed a bit of an obsession with sci-fi tat. I can’t seem to help myself, I'm fascinated. But in most cases, even if I think, 'mm, wouldn't buy it', or 'Dear God, no!' I can see why someone else might. Perhaps as a joke, perhaps as a moment of madness - but in most cases, I can see a rationale behind producing it. I can see how someone, somewhere, is making money from selling these things, even if I'd rather they weren't wasting our planet's dwindling resources to make horror-themed shot glasses. But this… OK, you might be thinking, it's a replica gun (from Aliens, if you must know). Might be a fun prop for a party. Might be good if you're into role playing. I can see you're thinking, mmm, might treat myself. But this little beauty is nine hundred quid. Yes, you read that right - nine hundred quid. For a toy gun. I live in South London and you can probably buy a real gun for less than 90, so this does not seem a reasonable price to me. Honestly, who buys these things? Why don't I know any of them so I can convince them to spend their money on better things - ie, me. Though whether I want to know anyone who collects expensive toy guns is perhaps another question...

Quote of the Day

Still using all the muscles except the one that matters?

Agent Smith, The Matrix Reloaded

There's good news and there's bad news...

The good news... is that the Spielberg/Smith remake of Oldboy I ranted about the other week has apparently now been scrapped, according to various sources. Possibly Will Smith has realised that incest, dental torture and eating live squid isn't the route to the Oscar glory that he is so clearly craving at the moment...

The bad news... a thousand girlish/some boyish hopes are quashed as Jensen Ackles just got engaged. Alright, she looks very pretty and I'm sure she's nice but... Jensen! How could you do this to me? Maybe I shouldn't have been so mean about his movies after all.

Still, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is still single. The dream lives on...

Quote of the Day

Aw, c'mon man... that's just sick.

Dean - less keen on Wincest than some people*, Supernatural

*I'm not saying I am one of those people. I'm just saying some people...

Hellboy - world of cute

I have nothing to say about this except... Hellboy toy. Cutest. thing. ever. And I didn't even like the movies that much.

Quote of the day

- I’m entitled to my opinion.

- It’s the assumption that we are entitled to it as well that is irritating.

Villa and Avon, Blake’s Seven

Terminator toys!

Having posted a blog aimed at my friend Linda, it feels a bit like I'm playing to the band by posting another one aimed at *her* friend Denise, but I was very impressed by her Halloween zombie costume (complete with stick on scabs) so when I saw these stick on Terminator endo-skeleton patches, I couldn't help but think of her. Come on, these are ace. I would actually recommend wearing these *not* on Halloween, just peeking out of your clothes on a normal day. Just to freak people out for the hell of it...

Quote of the Day

You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican. Rimmer, Red Dwarf

Psyched out

Despite popular opinion, I am not just all about the sci-fi. No, I am also about the crime show. So allow me to stray for one moment from the sci-fi to recommend a corker of a little show you might have missed (what – I was right about Burn Notice, wasn’t I?) – the joy that is Psych. For those not in the know, Psych is best described as a comedy version of the Mentalist, though that’s a little unfair as Psych predates that more high-profile show. The idea is pretty similar. In the Mentalist, Thomas Jane used his powers of observation to fake being a psychic, until his family are killed by a serial killer and he turns to crime solving instead. In Psych, protagonist Shawn Spencer, trained to be super observant by his cop father (Corbin Bernsen of LA Law), pretends to be a psychic so he can sell his services to the local police. Plus he sees it as an easy way to make a living. The leads – James Roday as Shawn and Dule Hill (ex of the West Wing, where he played Charlie) – are fantastic, with chemistry that makes you believe they have actually been friends for years, great comic timing and the willingness to look absolutely stupid in the service of a joke, and they are helped by a smart script, likeable supporting characters and stories that are often laugh out loud funny. So far in the UK we’ve only seen one series, but I’m hopeful that Hallmark will get its act together and buy more, because it clearly has a following, as evinced by the quality of the guest stars (and here I can find a sci-fi hook, because as well as attracting stars such as Cybill Shepherd, it regularly features recognisable genre faces, including Kevin ‘Hercules’ Sorbo, Jim ‘Bobby from Supernatural’ Beaver, Ray 'Twin Peaks' Wise and Cary ‘the Princess Bride’ Elwes, though the latter looked so bloated as to be almost unrecognisable – I only knew it was him because of that distinctive voice. What happened there?). Frankly, Shawn and Gus are my second favourite TV pair – and they’re probably more fun than SamnDean, if not quite as attractive. (These slightly creepy bobble heads don’t do them justice, as they are both handsome men, but are being included due to my current obsession with sci-fi tat). So even if you think the Mentalist fills the ‘fake psychic’ shaped hole in your life, give Psych a go. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Quote of the Day

You've seen the Mentalist, right? It's like that.

Shawn is more than aware of the competition, Psych (They are quite keen on the Mentalist jokes. Keep an eye out.)

Alien Abduction Lamp!

OK, clearly I was lying when I said I could stop looking up trashy sci-fi gifts anytime I wanted, because I just spent 20 minutes googling stuff (um, not all of it related to Star Wars and Supernatural. Honest). But y'know, it's not all bad. I love this alien abduction lamp. I'm not being sarcastic. I really do. Come on, it's fantastic. Alright, the amusement might wear thin quickly but... maybe not, I suspect I will always find a cow getting transported into a spaceship amusing. Were it not expensive (70 quid!) and was I not under orders not to buy anything at all till Easter, I would totally buy this. Hey, I live alone now, I can decorate how I like... (um, ok, it's not going to fit into my art deco flat, but hey, a girl can dream...)

Quote of the Day

- The killer called her.

- When?

- What did he say?

- Oh you know the usual small talk. "What's new?" "How you been?" "How do you wanna die?"

Scream 3

Eat slowly you will, with Star Wars light sabre chopsticks

Honestly, I can stop anytime I want. Really. I can step away from the internet and stop trawling for bonkers sci-fi tat. I just... don't want to. And so, here is my latest find. Light Sabre chop sticks. Yes, you read that right. Yoda and Luke Skywalker Light sabre chopsticks. Crazy, they are.

Quote of the Day

- Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

- No, have you?

Vasquez and Hudson trade insults, Aliens

Captain Jack is what he is

Well, I managed to add to my list of sci-fi stars I have seen on stage when I went yesterday to see John Barrowman (Captain Jack from Doctor Who/Torchwood) in La Cage Aux Folles. (Unfortunately, this means I have also added to my subfolder of male sci-fi stars I have seen in corsets who have better legs than me, but what can you do?) Interesting, a friend said before I went that the show was great but there was also real fun to be had watching the audience, and she was right: such is Barrowman’s broad appeal, the usual Saturday matinee tourist crowd – there to see a West End play, any play, to tick it off their lists – was filled out with an eclectic mix of teenagers who liked Torchwood, housewives from the home counties here to see ‘that handsome man off those Andrew Lloyd Webber shows’ and gentlemen of a certain age who looked like they remembered the original show. (OK, I am generalising of course – that nice woman with the blue rinse might really be here because of Doctor Who, but you get the idea). Because make no mistake: Barrowman was the star here. From the moment he came on stage to applause (I hate that – it’s an American habit and I think it’s bloody rude) to his standing ovation at the end, it was him they came to see and they loved him. He was, of course, slightly miscast – the whole point of Albin is that he is a fading old queen whose beauty and best days are behind him, while Barrowman is so good looking that even up in the gods I was dazzled by the whiteness of his teeth. And while this does mean his early tantrums lack the pathos they should, by the time he gives a broken, defiant version of I am What I Am, he really has imbued the character with some sense of heartbreak. His sheer charisma is stunning and lends verve and excitement to the play, which already isn’t short on either. The musical numbers are fun and fast moving and imaginatively staged, with the gaps between songs kept short and never allowed to (excuse the pun) drag. And speaking of drag - the costumes are fabulous. It’s not without faults, of course: the portrayal of Albin’s maid – in the US film the Birdcage played as a screaming Latino, here played by a young black actor channelling Josephine Baker – feels dangerously close to ‘comedy foreigner’ territory, the characterisation is done with fairly broad strokes, and clichés abound. The central relationship, too, feels slightly dated – how many gay men do you know these days whose relationship is so delineated into ‘male’ and ‘female’ roles? – but it’s to the cast’s credit that despite this, you really do care about what happens to them. And let’s remember that, dated in the details it might be, but the basic issues are still topical. The questions it asks – what makes a relationship valid? What is a parent –20 years of love and affection, or 20 hours of labour? These are still things that concern us today. Because don’t forget it was barely a week ago that a gay man was murdered only minutes away from this theatre for no other reason than a bunch of thugs took exception to the fact of his existence. And perhaps all those bigots in America, busy fighting the good fight against gay marriage – because clearly with the state of the world today, what consenting adults do in their private lives should be the big thing we are worried about – those people who see homosexuality as somehow a threat to the great moral majority, they should come along to La Cage. Not for the play, but for the audience. They should see a theatre full of tourists and teenagers and Home Counties housewives jumping to their feet and applauding the sight of two men in love, kissing, and maybe they should wonder if they are really are speaking for everyone after all.

Quote of the Day

Bite me, Twilight.

Dean - perhaps not buying into the whole romanticising of vampires? Supernatural

Buffy the exfoliator

Ok, I know it's an addiction. I know I have to stop surfing the web for bonkers sci-fi merchandise. I promise I'll blog properly tomorrow. But in the meantime... a Buffy flannel. Really, people? Really?

Quote of the Day

Thank god we've got Harry Potter here to save us all from the apocalypse!

Ah, ye of little faith: Sam's workmate, It's a Terrible Life, Supernatural.

Kitchen Nightmares - Freddy Krueger goblets

You'll have heard me mention my friend Linda before. Not only does she have her own very entertaining blog, where she teaches us good grammar through the medium of pictures of hot men (why did no one think of this earlier?) bur we also have pretty similar tastes - we're both Dean girls, we both think Terry Pratchett is a minor god, and we both love Lie to Me and now think it is the height of wit and sophistication to end any Tim Roth related comments with 'love'. (OK, you'll only get that if you watch the show...) Admittedly, she's more a Lost/House girl while I'm a Battlestar/NCIS type, but I like to think we're good enough friends for that not to matter. Most importantly though, Linda is the friend who I made watch both Devour and My Bloody Valentine 3D. Hell, I even made her wear the glasses. (I made her watch 17 Again, but as she secretly enjoyed that, it doesn't count). In other words, I owe her, big time. So, in honour of Linda and her love of Nightmare on Elm Street (don't get her started on the remake) I present these, the ugliest home wares I have ever seen. Who sat down and thought, 'I know - Freddy Krueger shot glasses? Freddy Krueger goblets? Freddy Krueger bowls?' And if ugly homewares featuring one horror character aren't enough for you, you can buy a Freddy and Jason platter. It's enough to put you off your red wine...

Quote of the Day

Night, love.

Cal, Lie to Me

Only funny to me and Linda, I appreciate that. Sorry.